Things We Still Need to Learn
by Punished By Love
Summary: Its a hard thing to let go of your best friend... especially when he's right there, but James needs to learn who he is and Steve has to learn to love that person who he becomes or learn to let him go and move on.


**Hey guys! So..Ive been writing a lot for the Marvel fandom and I realized...I should probably write and post something here...especially because its been so long since Ive posted anything here. So here you go. I hope you like it. Im not entirely sure how long it will be or where it will go but I guess we'll just have to find out. **

The night has a way of being so very heavy and resting upon a person like set of weights and this is just how it felt for the figure in the shadows. Pale blue eyes that were nearly silver gleamed in the low light of the settling darkness, the gleam of them nearly matched that of the bionic arm that adorned the left side of his body where an arm of flesh had once resided before the fall. A fall he wasn't entirely sure was real. So little seemed to be real to the man in the shadows and thats just how the people who controlled him wanted him. Shifting his weight he adjusted his grip upon the gun he held and emerged from the darkest of the dark and into the vast openness of Central park. The only sound was that of snow crunching under his heavy boots as his breath bloomed into little clouds of white as it escaped from his mouth.

With an almost resigned sense about him, the Winter Soldier lowered himself to the ground, not caring that the snow was cold and chilling through the heavy material of his pants. The Winter Soldier remained quiet and sit as he sat upon the snow covered ground, his pale face tipped up towards the heavens as white flakes drifted closer. The darkness of night pressed close and left him with a slightly breathless feeling but it was better than the way he normally felt-confused and so horribly empty. It was a vast and startling feeling and one that he wasn't entirely sure how to handle. Without HYDRA to contain his mind and his memories he had found himself struggling more and more. He knew not who he was or who he was meant to be. He was like a compass without a magnetic north to give it direction-all he had was this flood of memories about a blonde haired man. But these memories did little to help him find out who he personally was.

As the snow collected in James's hair and on his lashes he put his face in his flesh hand, trying to put some order to the chaos of his head of his mind and all that was there and all that was missing. It was a difficult thing like trying to imagine something that you had only heard of once but had never really experienced for yourself. And all it seemed to be doing as provide the ex-soviet assassin with a headache. A low, annoyed growl escaped him before he reclined back into the slow, dark hair spilling into a halo around his head. "Who am I?" He demanded of the darkness that was spilled across the sky above him, a star occasionally winking at him through the cotton candy colds stained blue with night. The only response he was given was that nearly inaudible sound of snow falling.

* * *

In near distance the American hero stood, bundled up against the chill of the late night, the tip of his nose made red. Eyes the color of the morning sky watched the long dark figure with a heavy sense of longing in his heart. There was nothing that Steve Rogers wanted more then to run to where his best friend stood and gather him in his arms. To whisper in his ear that he loved him and simply had never been given the chance to tell him-that he had never told him because it had never been allowed when they both where young and alive. And now he feared he never would get the chance to tell him.  
Captain America had been following the Winter Soldier for the past week but had yet to approach him despite how he so desperately wanted to, but fear held him back. He wasn't sure if he could handle it if James continued to not remember who he was. Steve had come to terms with the fact that Bucky was gone, that Hydra had destroyed him and that Steve was never going to get that man back-but he couldn't give up on James. Even if he had to relearn everything about this man and let someone new take the place of his best friend in his heart he would do it-if only to have James back in his life once more not as an enemy but as a friend and a companion. He needed to be brave but he was struggling if only because love was such a scary thing and he had so little idea about how the Winter Soldier was going to react now that he was free.  
Perhaps thats why he was so surprised when he suddenly found himself moving forward towards where the Winter Soldier lay upon the snow covered ground, looking so horribly lost and alone. It was a sight that made the American Hero's heart ache with a pain he had never hoped to feel and once more he had to resist the urge to sit down and gather him into his arms and hold him until there was no doubt in his mind that the Winter Soldier knew who he was.

"J-James?" His voice was startlingly loud in the silence of the night and the Winter Soldier's response was instantaneous. James rolled sharply onto his feet, crouching low to the ground, gun forgotten in the snow beside where he had laid, knives in hand, dark and threatening. Blue eyes were wild as they peered up at the blonde from his pale face, snow still caught in the dark, wavy mess of his hair.  
For a while nothing was said and there was only the sound of the soldier's breathing as his body slowly settled into a more defensive mindset. And then it registered who was in front of him and he pulled himself sharply into a standing position, like a puppet whose strings were quite suddenly pulled. "You!" Came the low, husky tenor voice of the Winter Soldier, surprise and something akin to offense coloring his tone. This was the man from the bridge, the one who filled his mind until it felt like he had nothing else. "Who are you?" He continued in a snarl, moving closer and roughly grasping the front of the blondes jacket in both hands , threatening to lift him from the ground.  
Steve's blue eyes widened with alarm and his hands came to fold over the dark haired males and he scrambled to answer, not sure what to make of his reaction. "B-Bucky stop! Please! Im...Im Steve! You're my friend!"

Slowly the Winter Soldier lowered the blonde to his feet. A look of distress was upon his face. "W-why are you in my head? Why are you all I can remember?" 

* * *

**Oh damn...that was short. Ok. Well...I'll write more next time. Remember! Reviews inspire me to write more sooner!**


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